Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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