i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
