yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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