That's when you crack a 10am beer
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
