Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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