Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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