i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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