I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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