After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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