apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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