im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
