i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I AM VODKA MAN
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
