I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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