I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
