I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize