Pants 0. Shit 1.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
