Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
