then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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