I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
