I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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