I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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