im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
