i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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