I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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