He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize