I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I wish I only lived at night.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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