SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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