There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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