put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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