my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize