It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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