so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
