I bet he comes in French.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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