Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
