my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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