This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
is it fun? or sober?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
