I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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