the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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