i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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