If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
