My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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