Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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