Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
literally had 100 drinks last night.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
