Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
