Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
