do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
