Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
