ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
