They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
