I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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