I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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