Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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