It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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