you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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