i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
