so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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