When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
