so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
