after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
