I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
