Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
