Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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