i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
