Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize