She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
