I CAN MOONWALK!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
