I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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