He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
