yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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