i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
