Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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