I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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