Too much gin, very little bucket
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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