I think I died a long time ago.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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