so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize