Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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