I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
