I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
