Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The air was thick with penises
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
