I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize