Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
there is puke in my bra ... again
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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